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Top 5 Signs You're At A Bad Holiday Office Party:
5.  The Office Party... Is At The Office

It's bad enough having to go to a Holiday Office party.  But, now imagine it is after work hours... and it is at the office!   If the company is going to go cheap on you, they could at least have it offsite.  But, keeping you at the same place you've just spent the last 8 to 10 hours at is nothing but a slow cruel torture.  And I wonder what everyone is going to talk about... gee... how about... WORK!  Boooring!
4.  There's Mistletoe Hung

Ok, who is the idiot that hung mistletoe at the company holiday party as a decoration?  Are you just old, or really stupid enough to invite the first liquored up employee (aka, company stalker) an opportunity to sexually harass an unexpecting colleague?  Worse, there's a likely chance that most of the employees are married.  Thanks for this one simple act of internally destroying the trust of your colleagues and the sanctity of marriage.
3.  Host Tries to Make Everyone to Dance

There's a simple rule in parties... "If the party and the music are that good then people will start dancing".  But, we've all been to that party where one person, usually a middle-aged lady who helped organize the party, gets on the dance floor and starts waving people over one-by-one to come out and start dancing. 
Stupid... Stupid... Stupid! 
If we wanted to dance, we'd be dancing. If there's a DJ, then let them do their job. If there's not, wait for the right song and mix of cocktails until someone wants hit the floor. But, think you have the right to decide the party needs a jumpstart and it's OK to stare people down until they uncomfortably give in. Don't do it!
2.  Bad Entertainment like Karaoke

Karaoke is what you do at a bar with your friends when you're already drunk. And you can't force people to get on a stage and start singing and talking in front of others, cuz that's the #1 fear in the world brother!

Instead, have something else to entertain and break the ice from the start. If it means rolling in tv's with a popular sports game, or a 'good' office appropriate comedian, then do it. Anything to get the conversation started, and then the party can continue on it's own momentum.

1.  There's No Alcohol

This is just unacceptable. I mean unless you're in Utah or your office is at AA headquarters.  Otherwise, C'mon!  People need something to take the edge off, to mingle, to tell stories.  And if there's no social lubricants, then they'll probably just talk about work... which is depressing.

The rule, less decorations, more alcohol! But, not too much. Viola!

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