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Apple Cup
#3 - Don't Pass Out In Front Of Your Boss and Co-Workers
You do not want to be remembered this way
Warn Your Friends...

Top 10 What NOT To Do At Your Holiday Office Party:
10.  Don't Dance Unless You're Good

People are watching. So, if you can't dance, don't... or keep it to a minimum to songs everyone is dancing to. If you think you can dance, first make sure it's not your beer legs, and second don't be the first or only person on the dance floor. And if you know you can dance, don't over do it or try to be a show off. Because even if you're good, there's always someone who's jealous, always a chance of slipping and falling, and always a chance of bumping into someone else with a drink. So, save it Travolta, you can go nuts in front of the mirror when you get home.
9.   No Crappy Gifts for the Gift Exchange

If your company hosts a gift exchange, white elephant, or any other form of present giving, don't give the gift of Crap! If you don't know what crap is, it's anything that half your friends would not want as a gift. And if you're still not sure, read the 10 Worst Gifts and you'll get the idea. Hell, even gift cards are better than crap. Now, get something most people would use, like a decent bottle of wine, or even candles (for ladies). But, if you're still clueless, check out the 10 Best Gift Ideas for starters. And if there's a set limit then see Best Gifts Under $20 or Best Gifts Under $10.
8.  Don't Show Up Without an Exit Plan

There is a likely chance the company party is either going to suck, or be a lot of fun. In either case, you need multiple exit plans to cover various situations. "My baby sitter has to leave at 10", "It's my favorite aunt's 50th birthday party this same night".  Equally, have ready excuses to get away from a boring, annoying, drunk or stalking co-worker. For example, "I've got to say hi to someone, but I'll catch up with you soon".
And be very sure it's iron clad, and nobody can blow your cover. Cause worse than leaving early is being caught in a lie.

7.  Don't Drink and Karaoke

Karaoke is what you do at a bar with your friends when you're already drunk. And chances are that if they decided Karaoke to be the primary entertainment for the evening, the party already sucks (see Top 5 Signs You're at a Bad Office Parties). If that's the case, you need to follow rule #8 - "Don't Show Up Without an Exit Plan", and get the hell out of there!

6.  Don't Be An Ass Kisser

The holiday party could be your chance to show off your dazzling personality, intelligence to the powers that be. But, odds are they're just as smart or smarter than you, and can sniff out an ass-kisser as easy as a bad fart. So, relax and don't over do it. Engage with your boss and other higher-ups by keeping it simple and real. Show your professionalism by complementing the party and company... just a little, and unless you have a great rhapport be on your way. The bosses usually just want to kick back and party too, not talk shop or be trapped by a co-worker.

5.  Do Not Tell Dirty Jokes

Sure, you've seen the guys from work getting all the laughs by telling an inappropriate story or dropping a few F-bombs. But, don't take the nervous laughs as show of respect. While the conversation need not focus on work topics... talking politics, religion, and sex is a quick way to alienate someone. If you want to tell a joke, keep it clean
4.   Don't Dress Like a Slut or a Bum

Ladies, think of the office party as a fancy dinner party with your parents... Not a night on the town with your sorority sisters. This will keep from luring the drunk guys towards you, and keep the jealous office ladies calling you whore behind your back. And Guys, it's not a football party. Show some respect and dress up a level or two beyond the business casual, or casual friday look. Avoid jeans and t-shirts, again think fancy dinner party with the folks.
3.  Don't Pass Out In Front Of Your Boss and Co-Workers

Sure, a drink or two is a good way to break the ice with co-workers in the uncomfortable confines of the office party. But, if you're a light-weight or just plain out of training, remember to pace yourself. It's not hard, just remember to drink a water in between each drink, and once you get past your intoxication level, usually 2 to 4 drinks varying by your size, then either stop or slow down. Trick yourself, and others, with a few soda waters with lime or other mocktail type drink to supplement the tendency to drink whatever is in your hand.

But, if you're starting to slur or stumble, then immediately pour yourself in a cab. Cause you do NOT want to be remembered as the Stupid Drunk who Passed Out at the party.
2.  Don't Be The Last Person To Leave

This Rule is two-fold:

   A. Your likely the last person there because you're too drunk... which potentially breaks Rule #3
   B. Drunk or not, they might ask you to help clean up, and then you're locked in for the long haul. When the help or the hostess starts cleaning up, that's your cue to grab your coat and get outta dodge. But, if you get cornered, refer to Rule #8 and have an exit plan.

1.  Don't Hook Up... Period

This is just unacceptable and will haunt you. Don't attempt to hook up or express any PDA (Public Display of Affection) with anyone, period! If you're a female they'll now refer to you as a whore, and if you're a male, you'll probably be sued for sexual assualt.  So don't decide your company holiday party is the ideal place to move on that co-worker you've had your eyes on. Plan that for another time and another place, and far enough away to not become the daily talk of the office gossipers.

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