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Joke #20
Q: What do you get when you breed a Texas Longhorn and a groundhog?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
Joke #19
Q: Why did the Longhorns grad cover her ears?
A: She was trying to hold in a thought.

Joke #18
Q: How do you neuter a Longhorns fan?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw!
Joke #17
Q: What do Texas Football players always get on their final exams?
A: Drool.
Joke #16
Q: Why are a tornado and a Texas Longhorns divorce similar?
A: You know someone is going to lose their trailer home!
Joke #15
Q: What's the difference between Texas Longhorns cheerleaders and The Titanic?
A: Only 1,000 went down on The Titanic.
Joke #14
Q: What's the biggest lie told in Austin?
A: "I was just helping that sheep over the fence."
Joke #13
Q: Why did indians protest the Sugar Bowl from being played in the Superdome?
A: It's a sacred Texas Longhorns burial ground.
Joke #12
Q: What do Longhorns cheerleaders and Longhorns quarterbacks have in common?
A: They're always on their backs.
Joke #11
Q: How do you keep Longhorns out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.
Joke #10
Q: How did the Texas Longhorns die from drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on him!
Joke #9
Q: Did you hear about the Longhorns water polo team?
A: They had to cancel their season after the horses all drowned in the first game.

Joke #8
Q: If you have a car containing a Texas Longhorns wide receiver, a Texas Longhorns linebacker, and a Texas Longhorns defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Joke #7
Q: Why did the Austin police department take the 9-1-1 off of their cars?
A: Longhorns football players kept stealing them because they thought they were Porsche's.
Joke #6
Q: How do Longhorns brain cells die?
A: Alone.
Joke #5
Q: How is a Longhorns like a possum?
A: Both play dead at home and usually die on the road.
Joke #4
Q: Why do Longhorn women wear bibs?
A: To keep the chew off their dresses.
Joke #3
Q: What's the number one pickup line used for picking up Longhorn chicks?
A: "Hey, nice tooth!"
Joke #2
Q: What do you get when you put the girlfriends of a dozen Texas Longhorns fans in one room?
A: A full set of teeth!
Joke #1
Q: Why do Texas football players only wear Levi 501 jeans?
A: Zippers make Sheep nervous.

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